Nothing is guaranteed.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
-Unknown


10 months ago, I was selfish.
10 days ago, I was sad.
10 minutes ago, I accepted reality.


It's taken awhile but I've finally realized I've become the person I've always wanted to be. This isn't an easy thing to admit but I'm proud of myself for being able to conquer everyones doubts. There were those times when no one believed in me and all i had was myself. I'm also proud of myself for being able to be so independent.

-Happiness comes with time.
-Nothing in life is handed to you, just like money doesn't grow on trees.
-Everyday is a new day.
-Everyday I am changing and becoming stronger.
-I'm beginning to build up an immunity to improper feelings.
-I don't know what I want in life but I know that any decision I make will be a good one.

As weird as it is to think about, I'm considering going home. I love it soooo much here but it's just hard SO to be away from everyone I love. I never imagined myself being so vulnerable. Nevertheless I'm giving it more time, and getting everything in order before I make any stupid mistakes.

Language camp was a bust. I don't think I learned anything which is kinda upsetting since my Spanish needs some serious tweaking. I did learn how to make homemade empanadas though!
They were super yummy. Being with the all the exchange students was really fun. Most of us were from the US and Germany. Additionally, Cuenca, is muy bonita! (Very pretty) There is a lot to do there too. Coming back to loja certainly felt good though. I like the way everything is layed out here and I love the markets.

School....IS THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD. I have grown to appreciate my school back in the US. I with out a doubt have taken my past 2 years in high school for granted. I would've gotten straight A's if I just would've applied myself a little more.
The curriculum here is so demanding. Even my ENGLISH class is hard. I give mad props to everyone in my school for being able to put up with it. I have like 87329472 teachers. I've been in school this whole week and every day I've met at least 2 new teachers who will teach us new subjects. They all get mad when I don't know understand. At this point in time I understand just about everything when spoken to semi-slowly. The teachers just speak a million mph and it sounds like one big mumble of words to me.

That's all for now. I think I'm actually still sick so I'm gonna drink some tea and take a nap. Hahahahahha.
Xoxxxxoxox

Hahahah me at supermaxi

I didn't go to school today. My host mom said there wasn't any point since I'm leaving for Cuenca tomorrow anyways and the first day is only an hour and a half since they just go over rules and introduce new students. I'm glad I missed it.
Tomorrow afternoon at 1 I leave for Cuenca. I'm so excited. I heard it's really really cold there, colder then Loja. Whatever, I'm happy I'm going to see to see more of Ecuador.

P.S - I hailed my first taxi today. I was so proud.

To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. -George Lansdowne

Well, I was supposed to go to Malacatos today at 2 for lunch but, I don't know where my host family went so instead I'll update this gloomy blog and start talking about the positives.

Last night the other exchange student, Isabelle from Germany and I went to the big concert here in Loja. I'm willing to bet just about every person living in Loja went. There we're so many people just waiting to get in, you couldn't even walk. And when the line did move forward, you were practically trampled by the people behind you. Isabelle and I actually felt a little disquieted at one point. The craziest part about the whole thing was that it only cost 1$ to get into the concert! Back in the US you probably couldn't even buy a drink at a concert for that much. So anyways, once we were finally in the concert, the music was really good. Of course, I've never heard any of the songs or didn't even understand what was being said, but it still sounded good. Isabelle recognized two songs, which made her really happy. Hahaha. Apparently the musician was really famous, all the girls went crazy over him. Also, I think the music was really romantic because everywhere I looked I saw couples hugging and kissing, it sucked. At the concert there was also a Carnival going on. It was huge. There were so many rides and games.

Recently, I found out rice makes you gain weight. Why am I the only person who didn't know this? Hahaha looks like I won't be having any of that anymore. Oh boy and I've gotten so sick of soup. I can't even look at it anymore. There are so many different kinds, but now it all just tastes the same to me. Right now, I am soooo craving any sort of snack. I haven't eaten one single snack in the entire 15 days I've been here. It's so crazy considering I used to live on snacks back in the US. I think Isabelle and I are gonna go up to the Super maxi soon and buy our own snacks. She misses them too. Hahah.

Tomorrow I start school. I really am not looking forward to it at all. I'm taking the hardest classes. I seriously am praying that next year when I go back to the US, they give me credit for being here.

I leave for language camp on Tuesday which makes me happy since I'll be missing basically this whole week of school. And also I'll be with a bunch of other exchange students which is always a good time.



Listen to this song once and it'll be stuck in your head forever. I can't even explain to you the amount of times I hear this song playing every day.

I'll try and post an update tomorrow after school and let you know if I'm still alive. Jajaja chao.

"When you're unhappy, everything in the world; reading, eating, sleeping - has something buried somewhere inside it that just makes you unhappier."- Unknown


My 16th birthday is in 5 days. I wish I could be excited. I don't want presents, I don't want cake. I want to be home with my family and friends.