The second I got on that airplane to guayaquil, I shut my eyes and dosed off into dreamland. I dreamt I was back in the arms of my mother at the airport. I dreamt ecuador was a made up place where people go to escape from time to time to get away from their problems.
Everytime I'd peak open my eyes to finally make my way back into reality, I noticed the woman next to me was starring at me. I couldn't tell if my head were blocking the window, or if she was a just a mind reader and my thoughts were so messed up she couldnt even get a signal. Slowly but surely I made a consious effort to move my head and completely open my eyes. As my surroundings became rugged and the pit in my stomach grew, I saw a new horizon. I saw myself through the glass window, waking up in the thick atomosphere of a new country. I saw distant faces of family and friends. I saw a mural of stars that spelt out greif. I woke up with my father and sisters letters sitting in my lap, unread. The last thing I remembered was reading the first sentence of my sisters letter and putting it back in the envople. Tears filled my eyes again but I tilt my head back to avoid the mess.
Once the plane landed I knew nothing in my life was ever going to be the same. I felt pain but this pain wasnt the kind of pain I'm used too. Its almost as if I were shattering into a million peices. Twenty thousand peices of me scattered in New york with the ones I love. And the rest scattered in Ecuador with the ones I have yet to discover. I am the cause of this distruction and I am going to be the one to put myself back together.